They tried. Chuck and Diane Graziosi of Clinton tried to sort things out between themselves during their marital separation. At first, they did pretty well. Then things started going downhill. Diane Graziosi's sister stepped in to act as a go-between for the couple, but she found the position too stressful and backed out.
Then a friend of Diane Graziosi's suggested she and her husband try
mediation , where a neutral third party facilitates conversations between parties in conflict.
The Graziosis liked the idea. They had resisted seeking legal counsel to resolve their differences and
mediation seemed like a viable alternative. So Diane Graziosi contacted the
Mediation Center of
Dutchess County in Poughkeepsie, after which she and her husband met with the center's executive director, Jody Miller.
From the start, Diane Graziosi was taken with Miller's personable, yet professional, manner and sincerity.
"Having Jody there as a third party kind of kept the emotions in control," said Diane Graziosi, of the two meetings she and her husband had with Miller.
So said Chuck Graziosi.
"When it's just the two of you involved in it so deep, you're not listening as much as you should be," he said, making it harder to understand what's being said and come to an agreement.
"The main thing that I got from it was having somebody there that wasn't going to be judgmental and wasn't going to tell you (what to do)," Chuck Graziosi said. "She was just going to listen in and help you put it down in words."
Now, not only are the Graziosis relieved of the stress from their conflicts, but so are their children and extended family.
"She (Miller) was very diligent in documenting what was said (by) both parties," Diane Graziosi said. "She repeated back to us (what we said) for clarification and so that we could acknowledge what each other said and what our thoughts were pertaining to our particulars and we were able to reach an agreement."
Chuck Graziosi also was pleased with the results of the
mediation .
"There were a few sticking points," he said. "By the time we left the
mediation center, it was all straightened out. We came to an agreement on it all."
Freelance writer Karen Maserjian Shan can be reached at mkshan@optonline.net.